Domino Theory

My daughter's school had a speaker last week who advised the children not to be afraid to make mistakes. "Always try new things and don't be afraid to fail," she said. Parents say that to children over and over again. "Just do your best," we say. However, as parents we'd rather chew glass than see our kids fail. We fix their homework before they turn it in. We drive them back to school to retrieve a needed book. We deliver their forgotten lunch. We negotiate with teachers over grades. And we choose what they attempt. That's the most dangerous part.

We can't let them fail, because they'll lose their place in line. It's a domino effect. If my child doesn't start achieving early on in the game, he or she will never catch up. My daughter has a friend who has been going to a pitching coach since he was in third grade. There are jumping coaches (coaches to help refine a basketball player's jumpshot) for elementary school kids! How do children learn to achieve? By specializing at earlier and earlier ages. The time when kids would play a different sport in each season is gone. Year-round sports teams are the way to guarantee success.

But whose success? The parents who push them into activities and sports that will put them onto a path leading to scholarships, good jobs and ultimate happiness? Or the children who are being denied the chance to try different paths and to fail at some of them?

The dominos are already lined up.