Flagging Confidence

Just when I start feeling like I can actually handle all this stuff, everything crashes down. I looked at Ken's email to retrieve a password and saw that our credit card company had sent several alerts regarding nonpayment of last month's statement. I was sure I had changed the email alert. And why hadn't the automatic payment been received? Much time later I discovered that changing the general email for the account did not change the email that alerts went to. I cried on the phone to the customer representative. I've never had a late payment! He hurriedly got me off the phone telling me to call back when the penalties showed up on the statement and probably some accommodation could be made.

But it's not just the frustrating details like banks and post offices (a whole other difficulty) that wear on me. I know those problems will work themselves out eventually with my help or not. Rather it's facing the everyday choices that must be made about my children that I never had to make alone before. Ken was a devoted, proud, supportive father. We talked about everything regarding our son and daughter. Now I have to make decisions alone. Should Mark take AP History? Should Claire get her ears pierced?

And I can't ask him for the most important bit of advice--how do I help the children through their grief?