Time marches on

School has started again and we are back in the swing of a new routine. I look back at my daily to-do journal from last year and see what progress I've made. I know I'm growing into a different person. I know I'm getting stronger. But that doesn't make the old person either bad or weak. I could have spent the rest of my life happily with Ken and never had a problem with who I am.

I still worry. I still grieve. Lately, I've been thinking more about how scared he must have been. How cheated he felt. How helpless. I often think that no one understands how I feel and yet I can't imagine how he felt. NO ONE understands how he felt. How lonely he must have been.

Soon I will be the same age Ken was when he died. This is way too young to die.