Guilt Monster

I rarely felt guilty this summer staying home with the kids. I needed to be here for them. Now they are back to school and I am feeling guilty. How have I earned the right to stay at home? I never asked that question when Ken was alive. He went to work and I stayed home. We each did a vital job. Now he is gone. There is no one to go to work but me. There is no one to stay home but me. I feel guilty that he worked hard all those years and now we reap the benefits without him. Shouldn't I have to deny myself in order to match his sacrifice? How can I enjoy anything without him?