O For a Muse of Fire

I am a widow/mother/daughter/sister/aunt/woman in California. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel calm. Both feelings are because I am a widow/mother/daughter/sister/aunt/woman in California.

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Location: California, United States

"O For a muse of fire that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention."

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Grief

When Ken died, I felt sad, but mostly, I now believe, I felt relief. Relief that his suffering was over. Relief that we could all move on. That was four months ago. What I am experiencing now is a profound, deep sadness that I have never felt before. I am grieving for a future for this family that will never be. But I am also grieving for a person that I was going to be--a wife with a husband to grow old with, to laugh with, to share pride in our children. Who am I going to be now?